How to be Happy

Food shopping on an empty stomach gets expensive, but it is also the most fulfilling thing ever.
This morning I woke up to an apartment full of condiments, but I had to finish a paper before I could do anything to amend the situation. At 3:12 pm, I stumbled back into my apartment with 29.80 worth of groceries, shakily poured myself a glass of milk, and ripped into a packet of Oreos.
Oral orgasm. Nothing in my life has ever tasted so right.

Tip of the day: go get hungry and eat Oreos.